"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time" -Thomas Edison
When I first started writing this blog it wasn't something that I was excited about but some of my friends had encouraged me to write it. I thought I would give it a shot and write about my weight loss journey. Never did I anticipate this would be something I would enjoy and never thought that I would end up writing about my life.
This year has been a year of learning, personal discovery and life lessons. I started this year off a completely different person than I am now. I had no goals, I had no confidence, but most of all I felt like I wasn't going anywhere in life. I had become content with my life, which isn't always a bad thing, however I felt like I was giving up on becoming the person I wanted to be. So that is when I realized things needed to change.
Of course the first thing I wanted to do was lose weight. This is still a up hill battle for me but I am making strides. Sometimes they are large strides and sometimes they are baby steps, however I do keep moving forward. With weight loss I have learned that you need to set small goals in order to reach the top of the mountain. I have conquered several of these including running my first 5k, hitting my 10%, and tried new workouts that I wouldn't have ever done before!
I have so many goals that I want to reach now! One thing that I have always wanted to do is join the military. I would be so honored to serve our country, however my weight has always been the obsticle standing in my way. I know how much I have to lose in order to join and that is something that in the future I will be able to do. I am also wanting to climb the Incline in Manitou Springs and run a 10k. I know its a long road ahead but I am up for the challenge.
I have never been great at taking chances, especially if it was going to involve a lot of change. However it was the change that I was really in search of and so I decided to apply for a different position in the company I work for. I applied the first time but it just wasn't the right time. I had lots of growing to do as a person and an employee. I waited for another position to become available and applied again. This time I was ready and I have been in my new position for only a couple weeks but loving every minute of it! Its challenging and it requires me to continue to grow every single day.
Relationships have never been my strong point. I have always had lots of friends and had a great relationship with my family but still didn't always understand some of those relationships. I was given a book by a very special person called The 5 Love Languages. At first I did'n't undestand why he gave me this book but after taking the time to read it, I would recommend it to everybody. This book taught me a lot about myself and other's around me. All of my relationships have become stronger and I truly value each one of them in my life.
Even though these have been goals I have set for myself I wouldn't be a success without all the amazing people in my life. My family is always there for and continue to support me even when I don't think I can do it anymore. They hold me accountable for a lot of things and have made me become a stronger person. I have the most wonderful friends and co-workers. There isn't a day that goes by that they don't ask how things are going and always want to know about my goals. I have the most amazing boyfriend who has taught me sooo much about life. He taught me to be a more caring person, has taught me that its okay to stop and enjoy life more, but most of all he has ALWAYS been there and has encouraged me to persevere. I dont feel like I would be able to accomplish any of my goals with all of them in my life.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Temporary Setbacks...
"Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks" -Unknown
I have always been a big believer of "everything happens for a reason". Good or bad. I know that I have a path that has been set for me and there are going to be obstacles that I have to overcome. I have overcome several challenges these last seven years. My oldest brother Randy went to sleep and never woke up at the age off 33. The doctors thought he had an allergic reaction to medicine. When he passed away I left school and moved back to Colorado to help my parents with my nephew and be there for him while he was dealing with the loss of his dad. My other brother Shawn died a year ago on Christmas Eve after a year long battle of cancer. He was only 30 and was diagnosed with lung, liver and colon cancer. Never once did Shawn ever get mad, angry or question why he was diagnosed with cancer. He faced the cancer head on and fought with every ounce of effort he had. I learned a lot from both my brothers that I try to remember everyday. They would both remind me that you should live everyday to the fullest, don't have any regrets and remember to smile. No matter what kind of day I am having I always try to keep this fresh in my memory. I tell myself that no matter how bad of day I am having I should always be thankful that I have been given that day. Next month would have been my brother's Shawns 32nd birthday and will be 7 years since Randy has passed away. I still find myself frustrated that I don't have them here to share the simplest things with. They are not here to see my house, or to watch a movie with or just to sit and remember the "good ole days". I think that is what gets to me most, but then I have to remind myself that they are smiling down and so proud of the things that I am accomplishing. All my brothers have always been my biggest supporters and i know that they are cheering me on. My brother TJ has stepped and taken the role of all three brothers and is always there for me good or bad.
I promised all of my brothers that I will lose the weight and will make them proud. The last thing my brother Shawn told me before he passed away was " to be my stubborn, ornery self and I will succeed at everything I set my mind to." So far this has come in handy. I refuse to let anything get the best of me. I have been having some pain and bruising in my foot and shin over the last week or so. Me being the stubborn girl that I can be I kept saying that it will go away. Well today I finally gave in and went to the doctor, they took a set of four x-rays and each one being responded with a weird look from the doctor. As my doctor was going over the x-rays with me she told me that I have a fracture on my foot and I tore three ligaments in my foot and leg. I was not thrilled to hear this especially with my first 5k on Saturday. She told me that I may get by with a boot for about 4 weeks and physical therapy for 3-6 months or I may have to have a cast for 10-12 weeks. So as you can imagine I was frustrated that I was unable to run on Saturday but how long beyond that? The doctor told me I can still exercise but I am looking at about 6 weeks before I can run depending on the physical therapy goes to repair my ligaments. A part of me just wanted to give up but then logic stepped back in and I am lucky to have this day to be frustrated about my foot and I will get passed this. I will just have to change some things around but I am not going to quite and I am going to face this and plow ahead and get back to where I can run again. I go in on Friday to get fitted for a boot and will also find out if I will have to have a cast.
Even though this is not what I wanted to hear I have to remember that it is just a temporary set-back and it was part of my path and happened for a reason. I may never know why but it did and I will take it as a challenge. My brothers never gave up in life and I wont give up on achieving my goals and keep going strong. Even though I can't run on Saturday I still want to be a part of the team, so I will be walking the 5K instead. I hope that this injury heals fast and I will be back and training for my second 5k in no time.
I have always been a big believer of "everything happens for a reason". Good or bad. I know that I have a path that has been set for me and there are going to be obstacles that I have to overcome. I have overcome several challenges these last seven years. My oldest brother Randy went to sleep and never woke up at the age off 33. The doctors thought he had an allergic reaction to medicine. When he passed away I left school and moved back to Colorado to help my parents with my nephew and be there for him while he was dealing with the loss of his dad. My other brother Shawn died a year ago on Christmas Eve after a year long battle of cancer. He was only 30 and was diagnosed with lung, liver and colon cancer. Never once did Shawn ever get mad, angry or question why he was diagnosed with cancer. He faced the cancer head on and fought with every ounce of effort he had. I learned a lot from both my brothers that I try to remember everyday. They would both remind me that you should live everyday to the fullest, don't have any regrets and remember to smile. No matter what kind of day I am having I always try to keep this fresh in my memory. I tell myself that no matter how bad of day I am having I should always be thankful that I have been given that day. Next month would have been my brother's Shawns 32nd birthday and will be 7 years since Randy has passed away. I still find myself frustrated that I don't have them here to share the simplest things with. They are not here to see my house, or to watch a movie with or just to sit and remember the "good ole days". I think that is what gets to me most, but then I have to remind myself that they are smiling down and so proud of the things that I am accomplishing. All my brothers have always been my biggest supporters and i know that they are cheering me on. My brother TJ has stepped and taken the role of all three brothers and is always there for me good or bad.
I promised all of my brothers that I will lose the weight and will make them proud. The last thing my brother Shawn told me before he passed away was " to be my stubborn, ornery self and I will succeed at everything I set my mind to." So far this has come in handy. I refuse to let anything get the best of me. I have been having some pain and bruising in my foot and shin over the last week or so. Me being the stubborn girl that I can be I kept saying that it will go away. Well today I finally gave in and went to the doctor, they took a set of four x-rays and each one being responded with a weird look from the doctor. As my doctor was going over the x-rays with me she told me that I have a fracture on my foot and I tore three ligaments in my foot and leg. I was not thrilled to hear this especially with my first 5k on Saturday. She told me that I may get by with a boot for about 4 weeks and physical therapy for 3-6 months or I may have to have a cast for 10-12 weeks. So as you can imagine I was frustrated that I was unable to run on Saturday but how long beyond that? The doctor told me I can still exercise but I am looking at about 6 weeks before I can run depending on the physical therapy goes to repair my ligaments. A part of me just wanted to give up but then logic stepped back in and I am lucky to have this day to be frustrated about my foot and I will get passed this. I will just have to change some things around but I am not going to quite and I am going to face this and plow ahead and get back to where I can run again. I go in on Friday to get fitted for a boot and will also find out if I will have to have a cast.
Even though this is not what I wanted to hear I have to remember that it is just a temporary set-back and it was part of my path and happened for a reason. I may never know why but it did and I will take it as a challenge. My brothers never gave up in life and I wont give up on achieving my goals and keep going strong. Even though I can't run on Saturday I still want to be a part of the team, so I will be walking the 5K instead. I hope that this injury heals fast and I will be back and training for my second 5k in no time.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I was thinking about a few things earlier today. One of the things that came across my mind is why didn't I do this sooner? I love the energy I have, going to the gym, my clothes getting bigger on me day by day, what is not to love about this. If losing weight, working out and eating healthy can make you feel so good, why in the world did it take me so long!! After thinking for a while I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to give up my old habits, to exchange going out for going to the gym, I mentally would not have committed to this. I enjoyed my old life way too much but now I am enjoy this life. I had to learn that I was not giving up everything, I was just giving up the bad.
This season on the Biggest Loser the theme is "No Excuses" and that is all it truly is. I would have an excuse for everything. I think I even went as far as making up a reason as to why it was okay to drink pop and eat fried food. I would have an excuse as to why I couldn't make it to the gym that I was currently paying a monthly fee for. Thinking back on this today I kind of had to laugh. At the time when I had excuses to not go to the gym I worked 7-4. Well now I generally get to work at 6:30-4 and go straight from work to school until 7. Once I leave class I go straight to the gym. Funny now that I have school and work I can now find the time for the gym. I have become a very competitive person and I find myself getting more competitive daily.
I signed up for my first 5k on March 17th. I am extremely nervous but I know this is just a small step to many bigger steps in my future. Today we were going to go on a "practice run" for the 5k however we missed the group we were supposed to go with. So two of my coworkers and I decided to still go ahead with it. I walked and ran some, but not as much as I would have liked to. I was so frustrated with myself that I didn't do as good as I wanted to. I kept beating myself up about that all day. After school I went to the gym and I took the Hip Hop class but still felt frustrated with my run earlier today. I hopped on the treadmill and decided to run. The very thing that was making me frustrated was the very thing that I went straight to in order to get rid of that frustration. It hit me that I want to become a strong runner and when I didn't meet those expectations that I had I was ready to give up on running. Reality check: I have only been at this lifestyle change for a month, it will take time for me to get to the level that many of my coworkers are at. I also realized how big of an inspiration they have all become. Deanza, Jennifer, Heather, and Chloe are avid runners and have inspired me so much to become a runner. I look forward to the day that I get to run with them and will be able to keep up. In the meantime I will just keep practicing and getting stronger everyday.
This season on the Biggest Loser the theme is "No Excuses" and that is all it truly is. I would have an excuse for everything. I think I even went as far as making up a reason as to why it was okay to drink pop and eat fried food. I would have an excuse as to why I couldn't make it to the gym that I was currently paying a monthly fee for. Thinking back on this today I kind of had to laugh. At the time when I had excuses to not go to the gym I worked 7-4. Well now I generally get to work at 6:30-4 and go straight from work to school until 7. Once I leave class I go straight to the gym. Funny now that I have school and work I can now find the time for the gym. I have become a very competitive person and I find myself getting more competitive daily.
I signed up for my first 5k on March 17th. I am extremely nervous but I know this is just a small step to many bigger steps in my future. Today we were going to go on a "practice run" for the 5k however we missed the group we were supposed to go with. So two of my coworkers and I decided to still go ahead with it. I walked and ran some, but not as much as I would have liked to. I was so frustrated with myself that I didn't do as good as I wanted to. I kept beating myself up about that all day. After school I went to the gym and I took the Hip Hop class but still felt frustrated with my run earlier today. I hopped on the treadmill and decided to run. The very thing that was making me frustrated was the very thing that I went straight to in order to get rid of that frustration. It hit me that I want to become a strong runner and when I didn't meet those expectations that I had I was ready to give up on running. Reality check: I have only been at this lifestyle change for a month, it will take time for me to get to the level that many of my coworkers are at. I also realized how big of an inspiration they have all become. Deanza, Jennifer, Heather, and Chloe are avid runners and have inspired me so much to become a runner. I look forward to the day that I get to run with them and will be able to keep up. In the meantime I will just keep practicing and getting stronger everyday.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Being Prepared...
So one of my good friends told me to think of a blog as a journal. Somewhere that I can share my thoughts and write how I am feeling. I never really looked at this way. I thought I needed something brilliant to say all the time and I didn't think I would be able to accomplish this. Just like a lot of things, if you look at it in a bad way you will never see positive results. So I decided that I am going to continue this blog, if for nothing else but to look back at my weight loss journey and be able to say I did it.
As many of you know I am a very social person. I am always busy and I am not very good at telling people no because I don't like to disappoint the people I care about. I knew that there were going to be times that I would be invited out for drinks, dinner, or to a fun event. This terrified me! I was scared that I would not have the willpower to say no. For instance two days after starting this lifestyle change ( I refuse to call it a diet) my sister-in-law Jamie invited me out to dinner at Tres Margaritas. Ok, so the old me would have ordered a cheese enchilada with some rice and beans. I knew this was not going to be okay and I did not want to revert back to my old ways. So I had been contemplating telling her I wasn't going to be able to make it. For me this really wasn't an option, I can't stop living my life as I normally would just so I wouldn't be tempted. So I pulled up the menu and looked under their "healthy options", I can guarantee there was nothing healthy about these...except for the lettuce. I read over all the options again and found the healthiest salad I could find and was somewhat prepared for dinner. Before leaving the house I packed a baggie full of grapes so I wouldn't be as tempted to eat the chips on the table. Once I got there I never even opened the menu again. The waiter came and took our order and I ordered the salad and knew that everything on it was not healthy but I was scared to say anything for fear of spit on my food...I know you have all heard that rumor too!!! However I knew I was going to have to stand my ground and not allow myself to put that food in my body so I told him that I would like vinegar instead of ranch, no cheese, chicken or tortilla chips on my salad and could I please have a glass of water. This was one of my biggest accomplishments so far...learning to say no! This was huge for me because I knew I can still continue having my social life but it would be up to me to make the decision once I got there. If I know ahead of time I will look at a menu before going to a restaurant and I always take HEALTHY snacks just in case.
This week my friend Heather invited me to Vegas in March (yes this is my 3rd time there in 6 months and no I do not have a gambling problem :). I was thrilled to go but then hesitation kicked in. Healthy foods in Vegas...yea right. I knew that I would regret not going, so I decided to say yes but I was still worried about the food. I have been trying to research some places that have more health conscious food but then I realized almost every restaurant offers salads and fruits its just whether or not you take advantage of this. Yes I am still nervous about it but I have to be mentally prepared and not find an excuse to eat bad while I am there. I am holding myself accountable to eat right and exercise while I am there. Just like many people who vacation I think you look forward to where you will eat just as much as the company you are with and what you will be doing. I am more focused on enjoying my time there and not stress out over the food situation but I also know I cant be hard on myself.
I have determination and I refuse to have an excuse. Excuses are what got me here in the first place and that part of my life is gone.
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do"
Nikki
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Beginning Journey
Hi my name is Nikki I am 27 years old. I have had a few people mention to me that I should start writing a blog. I am not really that great of writer and not really sure that my story is worth a blog, but I decided to give it a try and see if I like it :)
On January 17th and 18th I had the honor of having a Life Plan and one of the biggest things that I learned about myself is the weight has been holding me back for a long time. Things that I have always wanted to do but never did was due to the lack of confidence because of the extra weight that I have been carrying around. I began thinking a lot about this and knew that I needed to fix this, but how? During my Life Plan I was told that if you didn't have steps to reach your goal you will only be 30% successful, but if you map out how you are going to achieve your goal it becomes 90%. With the help of Laura I began making laying down the road to begin this journey. We talked about about my small goals and how I was going to accomplish these. Eat healthy, sounds easy enough right? Well nutrition has never been my strong point...lets face it I didn't get this way because I ate one too many bananas. I had lots of questions and my friend Nick started answering them for me. He explained what type of foods I should be putting in my body and what foods I should be staying away from. He never just gave me an answer he would also explain it so I understood why I was doing this. Next step join a gym. Signing up was easy but committing to going there was another thing. I also joined Weight Watchers just to give me that extra push. Now that I had all my steps mapped out all I needed to do is put them in motion.
The biggest obstacle I faced was mental and I believe that 90% of your success if mental. If you have the determination you will succeed but if you are not mentally committed you will not succeed. So I started asking myself some questions. Was I really ready to do this? Can I do this? What if I fail? What if I don't lose the weight? After running through every scenario in my head I decided now was the best time to start. My biggest fear being: if I didn't start now I would just have a new excuse next week?
So I jump into this journey with both feet forward! I started this new lifestyle on February 1st and it has been going great! The first week I lost 8 lbs, the second week I lost 4.8 lbs, the third week I lost 6.4 lbs and this last week I lost 1 lb for a total of 20.2 lbs so far!! I work out 5-6 days a week and I am doing stuff that I never thought I could do. I have taken up Zumba, Hip Hop, Body Pump and lots of weight lifting. However my new found love is running. Never in a million years would I ever think I would love to run or be able to run! I started the Couch to 5k and have loved every minute of it!
I know there are going to be challenges that I face along with the good and bad days. However I am not worried about these. I am mentally focused and know that I will have to work through these and may have to adjust or change things around to conquer these challenges. I have so many people backing me and supporting me right now that if I ever get frustrated or discourage I have tons of friends and family that will get me through this.
I work for an amazing company that has given me the support and encouragement that I needed most. I can't say thank you enough to all my amazing coworkers for being there for any questions and the encouragement you have given me to keep going. Everyday someone else has come up to me with so many kind words and have offered to help me anyway they can.
I am so excited to keep going with this amazing journey and can't wait to start seeing more results, but most of all I can't wait to be healthy!
On January 17th and 18th I had the honor of having a Life Plan and one of the biggest things that I learned about myself is the weight has been holding me back for a long time. Things that I have always wanted to do but never did was due to the lack of confidence because of the extra weight that I have been carrying around. I began thinking a lot about this and knew that I needed to fix this, but how? During my Life Plan I was told that if you didn't have steps to reach your goal you will only be 30% successful, but if you map out how you are going to achieve your goal it becomes 90%. With the help of Laura I began making laying down the road to begin this journey. We talked about about my small goals and how I was going to accomplish these. Eat healthy, sounds easy enough right? Well nutrition has never been my strong point...lets face it I didn't get this way because I ate one too many bananas. I had lots of questions and my friend Nick started answering them for me. He explained what type of foods I should be putting in my body and what foods I should be staying away from. He never just gave me an answer he would also explain it so I understood why I was doing this. Next step join a gym. Signing up was easy but committing to going there was another thing. I also joined Weight Watchers just to give me that extra push. Now that I had all my steps mapped out all I needed to do is put them in motion.
The biggest obstacle I faced was mental and I believe that 90% of your success if mental. If you have the determination you will succeed but if you are not mentally committed you will not succeed. So I started asking myself some questions. Was I really ready to do this? Can I do this? What if I fail? What if I don't lose the weight? After running through every scenario in my head I decided now was the best time to start. My biggest fear being: if I didn't start now I would just have a new excuse next week?
So I jump into this journey with both feet forward! I started this new lifestyle on February 1st and it has been going great! The first week I lost 8 lbs, the second week I lost 4.8 lbs, the third week I lost 6.4 lbs and this last week I lost 1 lb for a total of 20.2 lbs so far!! I work out 5-6 days a week and I am doing stuff that I never thought I could do. I have taken up Zumba, Hip Hop, Body Pump and lots of weight lifting. However my new found love is running. Never in a million years would I ever think I would love to run or be able to run! I started the Couch to 5k and have loved every minute of it!
I know there are going to be challenges that I face along with the good and bad days. However I am not worried about these. I am mentally focused and know that I will have to work through these and may have to adjust or change things around to conquer these challenges. I have so many people backing me and supporting me right now that if I ever get frustrated or discourage I have tons of friends and family that will get me through this.
I work for an amazing company that has given me the support and encouragement that I needed most. I can't say thank you enough to all my amazing coworkers for being there for any questions and the encouragement you have given me to keep going. Everyday someone else has come up to me with so many kind words and have offered to help me anyway they can.
I am so excited to keep going with this amazing journey and can't wait to start seeing more results, but most of all I can't wait to be healthy!
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